This will be the last log post for my Spanish blog. It's been a good 28 blog posts of about 17 weeks describing my life out of the country and I really want to thank everyone by saying how I've been feeling since I got back.
At our farewell dinner about three weeks ago, we were nominating people for "Most Changed". A friend of mine saw that he got several votes and said, "Wow, I've changed? I didn't even notice." I chuckled, but he was right. You don't notice that you've changed. Four months may seem like a long time, but only because it is. I had been separated from the world I had lived in for 21 years and forced, I use it loosely, in a new one for four months. Four months of successes, four months of failures, four months of growth. I am definitely not the same person I was at the beginning of the trip, and even though another friend of mine asked me if I had changed in a good or bad way, I honestly don't know. Only time will tell, but as of right now, I'm happy with where I am and I'm betting on it being a good change.
About a month before I was to leave Granada, I began having flashbacks. I saw Central Ave, I saw parts of Amherst, I saw Rosemary Pool. Now, a week back in the US, I am having flashbacks of the Isabella and Columbus statue, I am seeing Carcel Baja, I am seeing the moment where I broke down and cried on the plane from Madrid to JFK airport. I don't have flashbacks of the amazing people I've met, but not because I can see them on Facebook. I have pictures of all of my favorite locations in Granada on my computer as well, so that can't be it. I don't have flashbacks of people because I have memories and they're a lot stronger. They will stay with me longer than the images of walking by the Isabella and Columbus statue on the way to school. Memories that I'll be able to search for when I want to return to Marisma and remember playing quarters (with un centimo) with Spaniards or tanning in Lorca Park.
But now, what do I do with those memories? I've already done the most that I can do with them. I've let them become me, mold me, shape me into the changed person I am. If I need to actually go back to them, I have my blog posts, my pictures, and this collage that I finally made. That will be the last image you'll see on this blog. I can close my eyes and go there, escape there, return there.
For those of you who are still living or living in Granada, remember you can always go back even if the scary part is not knowing when. Remember all of the people who went through it with you because those are the people you can reminisce with. A lot of people here only want to hear two words about your time abroad. But we're here. Don't forget to remember!
